The Daily Dumb 3-19-2010

By cpu at March 23rd 2010, 4:25 AM -

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,


'Damn, 'Damn !'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

'By'Jeebers.... I'm a little crocked,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No damn' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face He says ' Damn it ' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was really crocked But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.'

This video makes me very hot in the pants!


Hell yes! Power bomb!


That's gonna sting.


It's fun when irony stares you right in the face.


Over and over...


...again and again...


Everyone needs a fetish I guess.


Scubaboni.


Grim reaper got jacked...


That car is saving SO MUCH gas.


Dude tries to dribble the wrong balls.


At least my mom just plays farmville and mostly leaves me alone.


That show is the bomb.


If it involves fire and my asshole, I'm generally not interested.


One hell of a show waiting to happen.


The ranting retarded ginger is back.


He's everywhere!


oh brother.


Fuck it, he wasn't using them.


Gravity game.


Hell hath no fury....


Concrete's no match for a pissed off mother nature.


This is pathetic.


Ferris wheel, the hard way.


Playing this game in elementary school was all about moments like this one.


St Patty's the morning after....


A sex tape that NO ONE wants to see.


The 5 most half assed scams that were shockingly successful.


Wake up, he's a shape shifter!

A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago.

So she sends him this care package.He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows.

He invites a couple of his buddies over and they’re all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park.

Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his bestfriend’s privates. After a few seconds, he does his business in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough.

She then looks at the camera and says, “By the way, I want a divorce.”