The Daily Dumb 6-3-2010

By cpu at June 3rd 2010, 3:36 AM -

Family photos are priceless.


The picture that got me interested in computing.


Proper photo bomb.


The shit rolls downhill.


Friendly fire.


Keep your eye on the ball... unless there's a stick about to hit it and you're standing too close.


Pretty damn slick.


Sometimes you just need a nap.


Could've been worse. Rosie O'Donnel could've sat on him.


Wrestling is getting creative.


Drunk in a wax museum.


Another review for the critically acclaimed Sex and the City 2.


Methinks this show is going to be goddamn epic.


Door malfunction.


Gary Coleman's coffin?


Emails from an asshole.... this one is great.


The worst thing you'll watch today.


This is a damn close second though.


Step 1: Take drugs. Step 2: Click here.


If she wins this lawsuit, I will personally go and kill her.


Goddamn I love photoshop.


Pretty crazy street drummer.


Japan's shitty pranks.


A nut shot of olympic proportion.


She needs no lessons in gratitude.


A glimpse into North Korea.


6 well intentioned ways you're ruining your dog.


Hooray for animal slavery!


Nostalgia critic: The teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Explaining 21 economic models with cows:

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and
then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

AN INVESTMENT BANK
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back
to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon'
and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A SCOTTISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...